i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
