Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
