Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
