Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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