I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize