We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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