question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
