I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize