so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
