i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
