Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
