Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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