Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
