if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
