Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
