Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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