I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
