I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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