I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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