i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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