Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize