ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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