Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
