I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
