That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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