If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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