is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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