Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
