Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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