That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
