You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
