I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
