Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
