this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
