Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
