Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
