just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
