8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
