It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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