my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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