So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize