At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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