...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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