He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize