Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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