But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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