wat bout pragnant strippers??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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