my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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