just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
