I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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