community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
