Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
