My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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