New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
