We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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