Im at strip club and am horny
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize