i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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