Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
