She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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