Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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